Monday, January 2, 2012

Happy New Year!

Happy new years! I find myself shocked to see we've reached the year 2012.

It isn't that I'm unaware of how calendars work. Instead, I'm shocked at what this year will bring. I'm suppose to spend this upcoming semester in Paris, my 21st birthday, and I'll start my senior year in college. There is also the messy unknown of the presidential election here in the US, but I figure that is a conversation for another day.

Most of all, I feel like this is my final full year before entering the 'real world'; before completely inheriting all the freedoms and responsibilities entrenched in it. And that utterly frightens me. Sure there is the excitement that comes from thinking about starting a career or getting my first apartment, but then I start thinking about how a career means and actual job or about how an apartment means bills the likes of which I've never had to deal with before.

And then we have the big question I appear to enjoy torturing myself with: will what I do be important? Of course it doesn't have to be, but I sure as hell would like it to be. I fully blame college for this desire - the more I learned, the more I saw the sea of anxiety that seems to engulf the world. I don't want to enter the working world, only to simply forget about all of it. Yet this is what the 'real world' seems to consist of - graduate college and work so that you're able to sustain yourself. Not much room for anything else.

I suppose that I'm getting ahead of myself. But hey, its fun to think about these kinds of things.

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