Sunday, May 10, 2009

Eighteen Jitters

A month ago, I turned 18. Normally, that should be something one wildly celebrates.

Of course, it was something that I dreading. On account of me being abnormal at best.

And how could I celebrate it - especially when I was told on numerous occasions that 18 is the age of being 'legally liable' for your actions.

The notion of getting older is double-sided for me. While its nice to have more freedom, along with that freedom comes a sense of nostalgia for what once was. A lot like how I felt back in when I first got to middle school - I was accustomed to running around on an opened field for 5 years, only to have that activity taken away. It was replaced with the ability to actually leave the school grounds to buy something to eat, but it just wasn't the same.

Its all rather disorienting. I'm forced to keep finding some new stable ground. Yet, isn't that how life always is? And if my life pans out in a way that I would like for it to, I suspect that this feeling with always be just over the horizon.

On another note, this past month has seen repeated events in which people have underestimated my age. For example, two weeks ago I was at an education expo up in Harlem and one guy I met there begun to try and guess my age. He started at seventeen and when I said no, went down to sixteen. He reached fifteen before I stopped him. While it does wonders for my vanity, it irritates me to no end when I'm carded. I tried to buy a game that happened to be rated M - which is something I've been legally allowed to do since I turned seventeen - and the cashier simply didn't believe me when I told him my age. I'm curious to see just how long this will last, 'cause its becoming awfully annoying.

Meh to being eighteen. Just, meh.


  1. Interesting thoughts. Yesterday I was at the wine store with people and this manager asked me, "Are you being helped?" So I pointed to the older friends I was with and she was like, "K."

    Also, last year I went to a venue called "The Highline Ballroom" and my friends bought some alcoholic drinks and they gave me the check…I think it is safe to say that people assume I am older.

    I think I enjoy getting older because I cannot stand being around children.

  2. Well, apparently I look younger than I really am. Oh wells, at least I get to be a bit vain.